It's Clobberin' Time!

Michael Chiklis as the Thing!

Review of Smallville Season 4, Episode 1

There was a lot to like about the 4th season premiere of Smallville, the story of not-yet-Superman, his family, friends and future enemy, but at the same time, there was a feeling of repetitiveness about the whole thing.

"I like nerds in glasses"

The biggest development, of course, is the introduction of Lois Lane, in yet another departure from the comics from which this show is inspired. Here, Lois is Chloe Sullivan's cousin, visiting Smallville to find the truth about Chloe's "death." First, she finds a video message Chloe recorded for Clark in the event of her disappearance. But Chloe isn't the only one who is among the missing.

Clark's been gone for three months, too. As Lois heads to the Kent farm to find Clark to enlist his help in her search, she gets caught up in a freak storm and runs her car off the road (upholding a long-standing Smallville tradition of auto mishaps). A flash of lightning later, she sees a naked Clark standing in the middle of the field (taking all of the mystery out of their future relationship). Clark has no memory of who he is, where he is, or of the importance of being clothed in public. Lois drapes a large red blanket over him (hey that looks just like a cape!) and drops him off at the local hospital, where no one recognizes him despite the fact that Clark has been there in every other episode of the show, as a patient, relative of a patient or the cause of a patient being there.

Here we find out that Jonathan has been in a coma for these three months, and the doctors speak to Martha about pulling the plug on him since she doesn't have any money left to keep him going (how sympathetic!) She eventually finds Clark, thanks Lois and tells her to butt out, which Lois is happy to do until she realizes that the naked hunk is actually Clark Kent.

Lex is off an expedition on the other side of the world and finds an ancient crystal with the same otherworldly markings seen in the cave. He was poisoned at the end of last season by his spiked drink (again! Maybe Lex should just quit drinking at home). He now needs to have his blood replaced every day, and is told he is living on borrowed time. While on his private plane on the way home, after receiving another transfusion from his on-board doctor, he pulls out the artifact, which apparently when exposed to sunlight, triggers some sort of reaction in Clark back in Smallville. He seems to regain his memory, but he is another person -- Kal-El, who has cast aside his earthly trappings (and family) and has fully embraced his Kryptonian heritage and destiny.

Meanwhile, Lana's in Paris playing cutesy American tourist with her new boyfriend who knows all about her pining for someone back home. She's doing some sort of research the causes something to happen to her, giving her a tattoo, taking away her short-term memory and turning her naked (a recurring theme this episode). Of course, it's all connected to Clark, Lex and the Kryptonian artifacts that are all over the world, yet easily stumbled on by Smallville residents. Lana is still in Paris at the end of the episode, and we have no idea what's going on with her. Let's keep her there awhile and postpone the annoying angst between her and Clark for as long as possible.

Martha, now afraid of losing both Clark and Jonathan, tries to contact Dr. Swann to get a better understanding of this Kryptonian destiny thing. Lois shows up at the farm, trying to get to Clark, whom, she assures Martha, she is not interested in that way "I like nerds in glasses," simultaneously referencing her future relationship with Clark and giving nerds a happy jolt, since Lois, of course, is hot (see photo above).

Clark, er, Kal-El, tells Martha that Clark is gone and takes off, literally. He flies! Throwing out the "no flights, no tights" rule the producers established at the beginning of the show. And what a flight! After a take-off reminiscent of the Matrix Reloaded, which itself was a Superman homage, he soars through the air effortlessly, flying around the world, approaching Lex's jet, prompting the pilots to question the object approaching them (a bird? a plane? naturally). Clark breaks in, steals the artifact and takes off. Does Lex see him? Not sure, because he later accuses his head-shaven, incarcerated father of stealing it with no mention of Clark. The back-and-forth between the Luthors continues, and is getting a little old. Lois visits Lionel in prison as well, and shows that she has some bite, accusing Lionel of killing Chloe, either directly or indirectly, and ensuring that he will pay. No on-the-sidelines, passive victim this girl (I'm looking at you Lana -- stay in Paris!)

So, anyway, Dr. Swann can't make it, so he sends and emissary -- none other than Margot Kidder, who had a relationship with Swann (Christopher Reeve) in "another lifetime" (let's hear it for the shout-out to parallel universes!) she brings with her black kryptonite (THAT's a new one). So Martha takes it to the cave where Kal-El is hanging out and exposes him to it, which simultaneously makes Clark/Kal-El split and Jonathan come out of his coma. So what is black kryptonite anyway? Besides a convenient writer's device, that is (OK, we have 10 minutes to wrap this up. How? Let's make up a new kryptonite that has the power to resole plotlines, no muss, no fuss). So, Clark is back to normal (well, his version of normal) knowing he has the power to fly, but not the knowledge to do it again. Jonathan is fine.

Clark runs into Lois at Chloe's grave, where they decide to work together to solve the Chloe mystery (just like investigative reporters!). Clark uses his X-Ray vision to discover that Chloe's body is not in her grave, which he tells Lois. The end. Whew!

OK, so Clark flying was really cool, Lois was great -- attractive, talented actress with a personality that's consistent with her comic counterpart, which also sets her apart from Chloe and Lana. The Case of the Missing Chloe to solve, an appearance by Margot Kidder -- that's the good.

The bad? Clark under the influence again. Lana. Black kryptonite -- awful plot contrivance. And Lois. I know that I said she was great, and she was, but come on, another person who will know that Clark's different, what he looks like without glasses (and clothes for that matter). The flying bothers me but I can live with that for now, because it was just a temporary thing. I'm still completely on board, but the whole black kryptonite thing REALLY bothered me. It just didn't make sense as anything other than a convenience. Maybe a future Dr. Swann appearance will explain it.

OK, on to week 2…..